Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
