Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
