We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
