remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize