ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
