I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
