I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
