OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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