Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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