weddingsv make me drug and hornr
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
