so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
