If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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