the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
