where am i from again
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
