I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
