Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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