So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
