im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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