JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
