everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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