i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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