That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
