I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
