So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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