So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
