he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
