WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
