I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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