At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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