you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
