Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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