I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
