just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Randomize
