Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
