it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
