i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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