his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
