i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
