i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize