she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
