Swine flu is the new snow day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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