btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
nutella sex= disaster
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
