Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
