How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
