Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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