ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
