Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
