But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
