she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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