did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
