I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
