I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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