i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
