I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
