Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
