note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
