I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My dick has a subreddit
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
