Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
