whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
