Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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