I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
