Screwed.edu
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
