i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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