My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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