Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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