yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
grandma shit on top of the toilet
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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