Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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