Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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