Sorry, I don't speak sober.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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