You're so nebulous sometimes
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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