he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
