Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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