Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
