Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Boobs are out for the taking
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
